Hidden Angst
by Day Star
Summary: Mimi's journey of self discovery and Mimi learns that the truth is sometimes more than people can bearfrom Mimi's POV
1. Mimi's Suprise

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon. *sigh* You know, I really hate saying that.  
  


Hidden Angst  


  
It all started the night I was out all night. I had been at a party, but it wasn't my fault, really. An ice storm halted all traffic. I spent the night in the bus station. Believe me it was no Hilton. There were no pillows, only a smelly stale bench. It was the worst night of my life. Of course it was going to get worse. What was to come was an event that would change my life forever.  
The buses weren't able to start running until late the next morning. I was so incredibly relieved to be home. I hope that mom and dad aren't to worried. I tried to call them a few times, but the phone lines were all down.  
  
my parents both rush over and hug me.  
  
BABY! We were so worried about you.  
  
Where have you been?  
  
Sorry Momma, Daddy. I tried to call but the lines were down. I had to spend the night in a smelly old bus station. It was horrible!  
  
Momma and Daddy exchanged a look.  
  
See dear, Mimi didn't run away. Daddy said.  
  
Why would I run away?  
  
We need to tell her, before she finds it out.  
  
Find out what? I ask.  
  
They both look at me. And then at each other.  
  
Mimi dear, why don't you go relax. You had a rough day.  
  
But you said you needed to tell my something. Are you giving me my own credit card? I ask hopefully.  
  
Your mother and I need to talk alone. Daddy says firmly.  
  
I close the door to my bedroom. I press my ear against the wall, I hoping to hear some of their conversation, but their whispering. I flop back on my bed, and visually scan my closets for something to wear. My flare jeans, nah I wore those last week. It takes me a long time to find the perfect outfit to wear. Maybe I have too many clothes, but I was an only child for 11 years, so I guess you can say I'm kinda spoiled. Although I love my baby brother dearly. My friends warned me that I wouldn't be as important to my parents when they had another baby, but it didn't happen. Besides now I have another person that loves me just as much as Mommy and Daddy Timmy. He even can speak my name now. He calls me Me Ma. How cute is that?  
  
I had just showered and dressed when Daddy called me.  
  
Mimi, sweetie, we need to talk with you.  
  
Whats wrong? They both look so sad, so serious.  
  
My dad looks at mom. Why don't you tell her.  
  
Your father and I were both shocked when we discovered I was pregnant with little Timmy. You see Mimi, we had tried for years to have a baby, but we couldn't conceive. We gave up any hope of ever having a child.  
  
My father picks up the story. And then one day while we were traveling north of Odabia, we found a home for abandoned and orphaned children, Cabbage Pie Palace or something like that.  
  
Mom chimes in. We had to go in, and then we saw the prettiest baby, sweetly cooing at us.  
  
our pretty little flower girl. daddy adds.  
  
You mean I'm not your daughter?  
  
Oh Mimi. my mother cried. You don't know how it hurts me to tell you this.  
  
All my life you've been lying to me! How could they have done this to me.  
  
Mimi, please understand. You are our daughter. Just because that we aren't your biological parents doesn't mean we love you any less.  
  
I burst into tears. What else could I do? My entire life was a lie. My father held me and stroked my hair, but for some reason, all I could think about is this lie my parents had made me live.  
  
Momma, Daddy, I need to go be alone, okay?  
  
Sure baby. Daddy says.  
  
Supper will be ready at 6:00 p.m. My mother adds.   
  
  
I close the door to my room. The mirrors reflected back a sad looking Mimi . But I didn't know who she was anymore. There was an entire big piece of my past missing. WAIT, If I found my birth mother, wouldn't that make me whole again? I could find out who I really am!  
  
I turned to the only person I knew that could help me.


	2. Hiatus

Mimi hacking is illegal, not to mention morally wrong! Izzy exclaimed.  
  
please, pretty please? I plead, using my big brown eyes for all it was worth.  
  
Okay okay Mimi, turn off the charm. I'll see what I can do.  
  
Thank you thank you!   
  
Don't thank me yet.  
  
I am so glad you are always so involved with that computer, because now I know that will find the information in no time! I squeal happily.  
  
Mimi are you sure you want to do this?  
  
What do you mean am I sure?  
  
I mean, being adopted doesn't change who you are.  
  
I know that. I stamp my feet. Why wasn't he finding the information I needed already.  
  
okay okay.  
  
Izzy, your the greatest!  
  
Mimi this is going to take some time, okay.  
  
But I feel content. I know that if anyone can find out, Izzy can.  
  
Izzy worked long into the evening. I had gotten bored, and went back home. How much could a normal person take? But I knew Izzy. He wouldn't let me down.  
  
It was the next afternoon before Izzy called me. I ran practily the entire way.  
  
Oh Izzy! I knew you could do it! Why do you look so serious? Whats wrong?  
  
Its nothing Mimi. Izzy says. But I know something is bothering him. I can tell when people are distrubed.  
  
Mimi, I haven't found exactly the information you wanted.  
  
Why not?  
  
I have a copy of your adoption paper.  
  
Why was he so grim.  
  
It doesn't tell us who your parents were.  
  
know what I'm I going to do.  
  
Don't look so sad Mimi. It can take years.  
  
I cried.  
  
Mimi, don't cry. I asked you to come over, because I did find something.  
  
  
  
The original records are still at the agency.  
  
  
  
We need to go up there, and physically go through the records.  
  
Wonderful! I'll go right away.  
  
Wait a minute Mimi, I think you should think about this.  
  
What is there to think about?  
  
Talk to your folks first. I'm sure that they would be glad to drive you up there during break~  
  
Izzy, thats months away yet!  
  
Don't do anything foolish Mimi. Izzy asks, almost pleadingly.  
  
I won't Izzy.  
  
But this is a promise I just can't keep.  
  
I sit quietly on the bus, watching the rain. I know my parents won't understand, but this is something I have to do. If I find my birth mother, than perhaps I'll find the part inside me thats missing. Perhaps I'll find myself. I was startled out of my silent pondering when somebody sat down next to me.  
  
Izzy! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?  
  
So should you.  
  
I'm finding my biological mother, so don't try to talk me out of it.  
  
I'm not here to talk you out of it.  
  
  
  
I'm coming with you.  
  
  
  



	3. arriving to claim the past

  
  
I'm coming with you Mimi.  
  
But, but~uh  
  
It isn't safe to go alone Mimi, and besides you might need my help with your search.  
  
He was right. What a friend. Although we've only known each other since we went to the digital world, its feels like we've known each other forever. I was going to need him.   
  
Thanks Izzy.  
  
No problem.  
  
I was really glad that Izzy was coming with me. I chattered away happily, even though Izzy was playing with his stupid laptop. Espically when a couple of creepy guys boarded the bus. They hadn't showered, shaved, or even changed their clothes in weeks. How could anyone go out looking like that is beyond me. Maybe their mirrors were broken. Anyway, where was I? Oh yea, we finally reached our destination, the small northern town of Kiychi. We steped of the bus, and I began to have second thoughts.  
  
Uh, Izzy, maybe this was a bad idea. I say quietly, looking around the run down village. How could I have come from a place like this?  
  
MIMI! We can't give up now! Izzy shouts.  
  
You don't have to yell at me. I sniffed.  
  
Izzy felt bad, and immediatly apoligized. He should feel bad, yelling at me like that. Sorry Mimi, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that.  
  
Thats okay Izzy. Where do we need to go Izzy?  
  
During the trip, I downloaded a map that shows the quickest route to the orphanage.  
  
Great! lets go. My stomach rumbles hungerly. Lets get something to eat first Izzy.  
  
  
  
Why was Izzy being so moody? Its pretty hard to be happy around someone so heavy hearted  
I had to find out what was bothering him.  
  
Are you okay Izzy?  
  
I'm fine. Izzy mumbled, looking at his french fries.  
  
Well you aren't acting like everything is fine. Is your girlfriend giving you trouble? Do you want Mimi to have a talk with her?  
  
Izzy blushes fourisly. Red heads blush so easily.  
  
How are you and Jyou doing? Izzy asks changing the subject.  
  
It was my turn to look down at my fries.  
  
You didn't tell him, did you Mimi?  
  
No. He wouldn't have understood.  
  
Izzy looked at me, waiting for me to continue.  
  
Izzy, Jyou would have called my folks.  
  
He shifted uncomfortably.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
  
  
Oh! I should let Sora know that we're here.  
  
  
  
I told my folks that I was staying with Sora for a few days.  
  
uh Mimi, theres something I should tell you.  
  
I'll be right back.  
  
I sprint over to the payphone.  
  
RING  
  
RING  
  
  
  
Hi Sora!  
  
Hey Mimi, hows it going?  
  
So far so good. Is something wrong? I ask.  
  
Your parents know.  
  
THEY KNOW?! How could they, unless~ I stare over at Izzy, who slinks down into his chair.  
  
Its okay Mimi, really.  
  
How can you think its okay? I shriek.  
  
You'll never guess what they said when they called me today.  
  
They're sending the SWAT team in to bring me back? I say sarcastically.  
  
No. They told me it was something they knew you needed to do.  
  
  
  
Mimi they want to be careful.  
  
Okay. Thanks Sora. You didn't tell them did you?  
  
No way Mimi. But I think its worked out.  
  
Yea it has. Talk to you later.  
  
Good luck Mimi.  
  
I stormed back over to Izzy.  
  
WHY DID YOU TELL MY PARENTS YOU LITTLE TATTLE TALE?  
  
Mimi, they would have been worried about you.  
  
I suppose your just along to babysit me, huh?  
  
No, I came because~  
  
I should have known that you wouldn't have understood!  
  
I know what its like to wonder about your biological parents Mimi. Izzy comforts.  
  
How could you possibly know how I feel? I shriek.  
  
I'm adopted too Mimi.  
  
All I can do is stare in amazment at Izzy.  
  
And my parents adopted me from the orphanage here in this town.


	4. the orphanage

I stare at Izzy in shock.  
  
your adopted too?! How long have you known? Did your folks tell you? Why haven't you ever told anyone?  
  
Yes, since I was six, no, and I don't know.  
  
I was wrong Izzy, I'm sorry. You do understand me.  
  
No problem. Lets go this way. Izzy says firmly.  
  
I follow him through the winding roads of the town. Why did they built these roads like this? I mean, its like they intentinoally want you to get lost. Izzy was making so many twists and turns, it felt like we were going in circles. He stops suddenly and I run into him.  
  
There it is. Izzy says pointing to the saddest house I have ever seen. Even those houses in mudslides looked better than this.  
  
This is where my parents got me? I couldn't believe it. It looked like a haunted house. A rusty gate around masses of weeds surrounded a once white house. It was a grayish color because nobody had washed the dirt from it in years.   
  
Wow, I bet there are at least 50 pounds of grime right there. Izzy states.  
  
No way, this isn't an orphanage, its some sort of haunted house. Lets go back Izzy.  
  
He catches my arm.  
  
Wait Mimi, remember that was a long time ago. Try to imagine it clean, and well kept.  
  
Fine, but if I see any frankenstein creatures.....  
  
We won't we won't.   
  
I followed the worn path overgrown with weeds up to the door.  
  
Do you think its open? I ask him timidly.  
  
What are you two doing here? Bellowed the angry old man with a white beard. I clutched on to Izzy's arm.  
  
Excuse me sir, but we are looking for an orphanage that was in this town. Izzy says pollitely.  
  
This was it. I'm the caretaker. he says gruffly. This place has a caretaker? It certainly doesn't look like it.  
  
How many chidlren were adopted through here? I ask, finally finding my voice.  
  
Oh, about 3,000 all told.  
  
So sir, how do you organize so much information? Izzy asked.  
  
Well, we sort it by the childs last name.  
  
What if they are abandoned children? Izzy asks.  
  
Then we placed those files in a seperate cabinet, sorted by date, and first name.  
  
I had visions of spending 35 years pouring over records.  
  
But know bodys allowed to access those records.  
  
Hey Mimi, ask him to give you a tour of the place. Whisphers Izzy.  
  
  
  
So I can look through the records.  
  
  
  
I get it. Izzy will look through the records while I destractt the caretaker. No problem. Izzy loves doing boring stuff like that. I knew there was a reason that I brought him along.  
  
Would you be able to give me a tour of this place? I'm sure you know everything about it I bat my eyes at the old man.  
  
That I do, that I do.  
  
I winked at Izzy, and began to follow the caretaker as he began to describe the days when the building was an orphanage. I followed along, asking the occasional question. He lead me through the mess hall, down the hallway to a large empty room, which he announced as the sleeping quarters.  
  
What about the babies? I asked.  
  
They slept in a different room. I'll show you that miss. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could have sworn that I heard a child laughing.  
  
Before I knew it, we were back in the front doorway. I looked at my watch, surprised to see that an hour had gone by. I hope that an hour was enough time for Izzy to find our records.  
  
Thanks for your help sir. I say, turning to thank the caretaker. But he had disapeared.  
  
Hey, where did he go? I ask Izzy.  
  
Never mind that. Come on, lets go.  
  
The moment the orphanage is behind us, I pounce on Izzy eagerly.  
  
Did you find it?  
  
He holds up two vanilla folders.  
  
Yours and mine.


End file.
